Pastors and Porn. Two words that aren’t typically put together. We rightly expect our ministry leaders to lead lives of holiness and integrity The tragic reality is that many pastors are welcoming pornography into their lives.
Barna recently did some thorough and practical research into what they’ve labeled The Porn Phenomenon,[1] which revealed through anonymous surveys that pornography has crept its way into the pastorate across the country. And if the pastors are struggling, then so are the church members.
This is no surprise to me, nor should it surprise ministry leaders in local churches. Pornography is more accessible than ever through social media and websites who profit off the sexual exploitation of men and women and the attention of the porn viewer. What is surprising is how silent the church is around this crippling topic. In one way or another, pornography impacts every person within your church and community. Barna research[2] unveiled the cringe-worthy reality that while churches know there is a porn problem, most churches have absolutely no programs specifically designed to assist those struggling with porn use.
Leaders in the local church, if we continue leaving the issue of pornography unaddressed in churches, and if we don’t provide safe places for followers of Jesus to put to death the sinful habits weighing them down, the church’s witness will continue to be muted by the worldliness of its members.
What can ministry leaders do to serve those carrying the overwhelming weight of a secret porn struggle?
1. Cultivate a Culture of Safe Belonging – Many children, teenagers, and adults shoulder the heavy weight of secret sin. They wrestle with guilt and shame, truly wanting to find victory over their addiction to pornography. The problem is they don’t know where to turn. Tragically, if they turn to the church, often ministry leaders and pastors quickly hand out the scarlet letter of shame instead of the good news of the gospel.
The local church ought to be the safest place to admit this sinful habit, because we know the Gospel of grace offers hope for change to those who feel hopeless. Struggling with pornography doesn’t put a person in a place beyond grace. Paul placed no caveats when he wrote “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). Don’t hand out shame where Jesus offers grace. Remind folks that your church is a place where people can bring their burdens, experience the grace of Jesus Christ, and find freedom from their struggles.
- Create a Process of Community-Based Discipleship – Accountability has been the buzz word around finding freedom from pornography. The problem in many churches for the last several decades is that accountability programs often lead to shame instead of healing.
Accountability is an absolute necessity in finding freedom from pornography. But outside of the context of a beloved community, shame and isolation pulls the confessor into despair. Those who struggle with viewing porn need to know they belong to a community that is present and shows up even when they sin. Knowing that a moment of weakness doesn’t lead to expulsion and exclusion is critical in creating community that helps those struggling to stop viewing pornography. [3]
- Communicate with Consistency and Clarity – Ministry leaders and pastors know that part of our job is to point out sin in the lives of followers of Jesus under our care. God uses shepherds to lead the sheep in “paths of righteousness.” The Spirit’s work of sanctification isn’t just limited to issues we are comfortable talking about from the pulpit and within small groups. The saving work of Jesus brings freedom even to the taboo topics of today. We must talk about the issues of pornography with clarity, always pointing broken and in-process believers to Jesus. Don’t make the mistake of communicating about sex and porn as evil and satanic forces that bring shame. Talk about the goodness of sex and the pitfalls of porn in ways that encourage freedom and healing.
The catastrophic reality of pornography usage is keeping men and women out of ministry and off of the mission field. The disastrous effect of porn usage silently incapacitates marriages. Pornography enslaves the user and exploits the women in the industry.[4]
Pastors, ministry leaders, and volunteer leaders, this is dire. This isn’t something on the horizon, it’s already arrived! I’m begging you to not push this aside in your ministry. This is a discipleship issue as much as it is a purity issue. Emotional and spiritual health matters, and because it matters, we must have awkward and difficult conversations about pornography. Lead with truth AND love. Jesus did it so well, and so can we.
[1] https://www.barna.com/the-porn-phenomenon/
[2] For more info, https://www.barna.com/research/porn-in-the-digital-age-new-research-reveals-10-trends/
[3] I write more extensively about reasons I believe accountability outside of a community to belong in is critical to emotional and spiritual health in my doctoral dissertation, Surviving Leadership in the Local Church. For more information, visit Vista Community Church’s website.
[4] Scarlet Hope is a Gospel ministry that shares the hope and love of Jesus with women in the adult entertainment industry. They do amazing work around the United States. For more information, check out scarlethope.org
Click for more info and to register!